Memories of the Departed

Kangennya masih ada di setiap waktu
Kadang aku menangis bila aku perlu
Tapi aku sekarang sudah lebih lucu
Jadilah menyenangkan seperti katamu

Jalani hidup dengan penuh suka cita
Dan percaya kau ada di hatiku selamanya, oh

In the trending song "Gala Bunga Matahari," whose music video was recently released, I would like to sit down and remember my beloved ones who sadly can’t be in my life anymore.

Although I can’t physically see them again, I believe that many parts of me—my thinking and actions—are shaped by their examples.

1. My Dad

My dad was an intelligent man who often made decisions based on logic rather than emotions. Yes, he could be emotional at times, but there were lessons he taught me in a straightforward, almost 'heartless' manner.

Whenever I faced difficulties in life, he believed I could handle them and let me figure things out on my own.

He was the kind of father who would have tough conversations with me without sugarcoating anything. For example, when I was very young, he taught me about the concept of “give and take.” And recently, before he passed away, we talked about marriage, and he admitted that there were no rainbows in it. Marriage, he said, would sometimes make you sad and sometimes happy—it’s just a part of life.

Thank you, Dad, for making me the person I am today.

2. My favorite uncle, Cak Momo

Cak Momo is possibly the most caring man I have ever known, and he chose me to be his favorite niece. Since I was little, he would take me to the playground and buy me cute fish to keep as pets. I decided to pursue my college degree in Jogja mostly because of him, knowing that I would get to see him more regularly since he lived there.

He was such a funny guy, although he became more calm and serious later in life. He cared deeply for others, and many people loved him and saw him as a father figure.

He even promised me that if my father passed away before I got married, he would happily step in as my marriage guardian. The funny thing is, he was my father’s older brother. He passed away in 2017, while my dad died five years later.

Another fun fact: when I was a college student, I sometimes stayed at his house and slept in his room. Once, he insisted that I have coffee for breakfast, which ended with me vomiting in the afternoon.

3. My tiger aunt, Bude Titiek

When I was in high school and visited Jogja during my school holiday, Bude Titiek took me on a road trip, just the two of us. She encouraged me to move to Jogja for college, and I agreed.

Bude Titiek is also my father’s older sister, just two years apart. She was a popular lawyer in Jogja—an independent and strong woman. When I lived in her house during college, she gave me the freedom to live my life (I was barely home even though I stayed with her).

She believed I could achieve great things in life and always encouraged me to see the world. In recent years, whenever I met her, she would praise me for my recent successes. She was genuinely happy for other people’s achievements, and I loved her for that.

Hope all three of you are having a great time together in the afterlife. I imagine you all are enjoying coffee together in a beautiful setting.